BIG PUZZLES AND HURDLES ALONG THE WAY
The more I reflect on my life, especially my childhood, the more confused I become. I started out a bit behind the eight ball, having been born in 1933 into a single working woman’s life during the Great Depression. My mom worked very hard for many years just to keep us afloat, making and peddling sandwiches and running a small café by herself. I did badly in school for the first several years, with bad behavior and no motivation. In short, I was quite depressed during my early school years and had no friends. Even though my mom tried hard to find a “father” for me, none of the three she tried to marry worked out.
Everything changed dramatically when she enrolled me in the Campus School, run by the local college’s education department. The positive atmosphere, along with a very creative curriculum and faculty grounded in John Dewey’s ideas, was very stimulating for me from the third grade onward. Even though Mom and I lived alone in the hotel where she managed the large restaurant and banquet rooms, I found plenty to keep me busy after school each day, playing in the hotel basement, the public garage, and nearby alleys. I came alive in this environment, even though I almost always played alone, and I got along well enough at school.
When I was about 10, Mom and I moved into a beautiful home by the waterfront. She finally opened her first-class café, and we were now well off. She also bought me a St. Bernard puppy, Sarge, who soon became my very best friend. We swam, ran, and climbed the nearby mountains together. Even though my Mom’s workdays were long, Sarge and I were never lonely. I even got to know several of the neighbor kids over the summer.
At around age 10, I discovered sports magazines and became a sports addict. Soon I had cut out players from newspapers and magazines and even began drawing my own. I made up paper-doll teams and organized and played games using playing cards and dice. My mom was afraid I was getting carried away with my imagination, but she was glad to see me so absorbed and happy. Whenever I could, I attended local sporting events, from high school and college games to our local semi-professional baseball team. In short, I had become a sports addict.
Even though our little school did not have many athletic teams, I organized teams for the eighth- and ninth-graders, as well as one for us and another for the eighth-grade junior high. Meanwhile, I was not doing so well in school. Although I was popular with my classmates, my teachers found my extroverted personality disruptive in the classroom. My ninth-grade teacher told my Mom that I should be held back a year to give me a chance to “catch up” emotionally. At the same time, I had heard about a private high school in Seattle that had won the state track and field championship, and I wanted to go there next. I took the tests, was surprisingly accepted, and went on to Lakeside School the next year.
Needless to say, I was very much underprepared for a high-level prep school, but I had a wonderful year there, made many friends, and did well in sports. I also managed to pass all my courses, each with a “C” grade. The next year, I transferred to our local high school and found that I fit right in with my classmates, some of whom were, of course, from my Campus School. From then on, things came together for me, and I did better in both school and sports. My cousin and I tied for first place in the long jump at the State Track Championship. I also became a “B” student and was looking forward to going on to college. From then on, both my emotional and intellectual dimensions came together, and I actually became an outstanding student.
I suppose psychologists might say I finally reached my “maturation” point when I entered college, as my intellectual and emotional abilities caught up with my physical capacities. Neither my teachers nor I in those early years would have predicted the quality and direction of my later years. I went on to earn a Ph.D. in the Philosophy of Religion and to publish numerous scholarly articles and books. I was a college professor for many years and was very popular. I am sure I owe it all to my mother’s grit and drive, the patience of many of my teachers, and my own innate abilities. But when I reflect on the whole thing, I still find it remarkable and even surprising that who and what I am today could have come from that confusing and limited beginning. I am ever so grateful for the patience and efforts of my Mom and several of my early teachers, who saw more in me than I did.
I should be sure to mention all the “behind-the-scenes” efforts my Mom contributed to all of the above. She herself was the valedictorian of her high school class and attended the University of Washington for a bit before having to quit to work during the height of the Great Depression. She worked as a waitress after making and selling her own sandwiches to beer parlors and pool halls. For years, she struggled to make ends meet for the two of us before starting her own “Virginia’s Café,” which became a roaring success for many years thereafter. When I was growing up, she bought me many books and drawing materials, took me to Seattle to see plays, the circus, and ballgames, and took me to many lectures and films at the local college. She even went back to the local college for a semester while I was away at college. All this while, she had three marriages that failed and several male friends, but ended up as a single woman when she died at the age of 51 while I was in graduate school. She was respected and loved by all her many friends and employees in the restaurant business. My Mom had a wonderful sense of humor and always sought to help anyone who was in need. Thanks for everything, Mom: O)